Dear Dr. Archer,
Is it okay to be with someone that is ten years older or more? My mom says I need to marry a rich man, but I don't know any famous men my age. I'm 18 and depressed because I don't think a normal man can love me.
I'll probably fall in love with a rocker. I never had a boyfriend, and there's a possibility I will fall into the wrong hands.
My mom doesn't want to help me find a boyfriend, so there's no hope for a man around my age. I love rock, and am inspired by hardcore rock. I like certain guys in H.I.M., The 69 Eyes and Entwine.
I am going to be a superstar when I'm out of college, so you can't tell me I will never meet these guys in real life. I'll be a mega fan if I have to, because I know these sexy men are single.
H.I.M, The 69 Eyes, 30 Seconds to Mars and Three Days Grace are supposed to be making new albums soon, so they better hope they never come to Chicago! I promise to love them and not their money. I have no problem marrying an old rocker that still does music.
K
Dear K,
Join the club! Do you have any idea how many young women set their sights on rock stars, celebrities, sports figures and others who are in the public eye? But, who knows? There's always a chance.
I don't think age matters in a relationship, as long as love and respect are present. Shared interests can transcend the difference in years, so that's not a problem. What is a problem is seeking out a mate based on money or profession. That is a recipe for disaster, because importance is focused in the wrong place.
Don't be in a rush to get a boyfriend, K. You shouldn't rely on your mom to get you a boyfriend, either and actually, you need to tell her to stop pushing a rich guy—it's ridiculous.
Marriage is hard enough when love and devotion is the foundation. If money is the foundation, it's doomed from the start. It would be much, much better and healthier for you to gain your independence first, K. Hyper-materialism will not yield happiness, and mom should know better. She should be stressing your education and self sufficiency.
One more thing, K. Being a super-star is not a career! You might be a singer, a musician, an actress or have some other career which puts you in the public eye, but there is no college course for ‘Super Star’.
To help you achieve your goal, I urge you to quit focusing so much on being a star. Rather focus on being the best singer, actress, poet, writer, whatever that you can be. A well balanced life between career and personal life can be rough, but it will save you from circumstances like Denise discusses in,
Our Personal Lives Suffer For Our Careers.
Put your energies in the right place to ensure you have a bright and successful future, K, and everything else will fall into place. Be smart and act responsibly, and you'll get what you need out of life.
I truly hope your dreams come true, but remember to get where you want to go takes work and dedication. When you get there, be sure to write back and let me know. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
