Dear Dr. Archer,
I have many choices in front of me as to who my lover should be. How do I choose?
Smitha
Dear Smitha,
I hope you're not just looking for a sex partner, but rather a true partner. You don’t need my advice on how to choose the former, do you?
You want to get to know someone. Do you feel at ease in his company? Are you comfortable with his personality? Does he make you laugh? Is he fun, exciting and does your heart beat just a little quicker when he’s around? Is he interested in what you have to say? Does he treat you with respect? Do you get along and consider each other friends?
If you can find someone that you can say "Yes!" to each of the above, then, give it six months or so and if it’s still working then it may be the real deal. Time is the ultimate decision maker in these cases - rush things at your peril.
Remember the words of Ninon de Lenclos, "A sensible woman should be guided by her head when taking a husband, and by her heart when taking a lover." If you're really lucky, Smitha, you will find both in the same man. Good luck!
Dr. Archer
