Dear Dr. Archer,
I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year, and it's been wonderful! She's not an emotional person, though, so it's difficult to get her to open up or talk about her feelings. I, on the other hand, talk about my feelings. I've been patient, and she has opened up in her own way.
Recently I asked her about marriage. I don't even know why I asked her, because neither one of us want to settle down now. Maybe I just wanted to know if it was a possibility. The night I asked her did not go very well. The next day I brought it up again, telling her she acted like she didn't care.
She broke down like I've never seen, and she finally said it was a possibility, and if things kept going well we would be together forever. Now I feel like things are a little different; maybe it's my mind playing games with me, I don't know. I regret that I brought the whole thing up, but how do I show her I'm not going to bring it up again? I don't want to lose her.
I would like to hear your and others' point of view. I need all the advice I can get; I really, really don't want to lose her.
Dee
Dear Dee,
Drop it now. Simply drop the discussion, neither one of you are ready for marriage anyway, so why make it an issue? The best way for you to prove that you won't bring it up, Dee, is to not bring it up! It may take a some time for her to relax, but things should return to normal soon. If SHE brings it up, then the two of you can talk about it.
BTW, I see the fact that she broke down and cried as a very positive sign. You don’t start crying over something like that without very strong emotions for the other.
For the time being, simply enjoy each other's company and friendship. The rest will take care of itself. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
