Dear Dr. Archer,
I'm a 22 year old student, and I have a son with my ex girlfriend who denies me access to him. The last time I saw my son was five months ago, yet I pay child support and insurance.
My situation gets worse since I have a pending court case. We had an argument a while back, and she had me arrested for trespassing; she's the only one who can drop the charges.
I was fortunate to get a scholarship to Tokyo, but if she doesn't drop the charges I may as well forget it.
Ben
Dear Ben,
If you can afford it, the best thing would be to hire an attorney to diplomatically talk to her attorney and see if some sort of compromise can be reached. Compromises tend to make both parties think they have won, so she might be willing to drop the charges. It's worth a shot if you have your heart set on going to Tokyo.
If you can’t afford an attorney, check out legal aid in your community or there may even be a legal advice department at your school. The key is to get an independent professional involved to try to work this out. Sounds like the two of you won’t get this done as there is too much raw emotion still present.
If she refuses to compromise, and you lose your chance to go to Tokyo, then I hope you learn plenty from this experience. I must say, Ben, I wonder why you complain about not seeing your son, yet you want to go to Tokyo? You surely won't be seeing him if you go abroad.
It just makes me wonder if this was a case of two hard-headed people having a power struggle and you got the short end of the stick? Regardless, you know what you need to do to have a chance at dropping the charges. Change the attitude, suck it up and play nice. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
